So we all survived the end of the world. In fact, other than Dad telling me he was no longer going to support me after a couple years, things seemed relatively normal. Dad’s been acting weird again - his lying is acting up which means he’s under a lot of stress. This time on the phone he told me that Mom had written him an email saying that he ( Read more... )

I was diagnosed with a panic disorder and major depressive disorder.  I’m pretty sure everybody and their mother is diagnosed with depression. I know that both of these things are symptoms of having a nonverbal learning disability, but I guess they stand alone. The resident also said I might have symptoms of having borderline personality traits.

I ( Read more... )

I wake up empty with a small feeling like it's just going to get worse. I'm just waiting and waiting until inevitably it's going to get worse. I can't understand what this feeling is about. I thought abilify was working, but now I'm not so sure. I don't feel so angry anymore, but I'm hopeless ( Read more... )

I spoke too soon. Or maybe The Turn Around has happened, I just will continue to step back sometimes. Instead of completely falling apart, I just cried today. It seems that everyone can move so simply throughout the world. That people can inuitively stand on their own. My legs are weak after twenty minutes. People GET things that I don't and it's ( Read more... )

Back from class. I can't do it anymore I just dont think I can do it. I try really hard.  I go to tutoring. I go to study groups. I study. I go to every class. I can't get it. I pray for D's. I just... I don't know what to do. This is the rest of my schooling? This is it? I remember people saying 'college isn't for everyone' all through out my ( Read more... )

I am spinning up and down every day. As soon as I start thinking about school thinks spiral out of control. I can’t understand the class. I can’t understand nonverbal information. I can’t bear to be out of the house for more than a couple of hours. I am an idiot. If I don’t pass school I won’t get a verbal job. If I don’t get a verbal job I will ( Read more... )

List of good decisions in my life:

1. Coming home to get off heroin.
2. Having the confidence to start making girl friends.
3. Getting my GED
4. Having the discipline to start exercising for a half hour a day when I was ten.
5. Moving to NYC. Although it was very tough, it was something I’m glad I did.